Privacy Policy
Last updated: January 2025
Note: We barely care about your privacy, but we have to write this
because some people actually care about their data. We're not those people,
but we respect that you might be.
What We Collect
We collect the bare minimum because we're lazy:
- Cart data: What you put in your cart (we're surprised you're actually buying stuff)
- Cookies: To remember your preferences (and that you accepted our barely-there cookie policy)
- Email: Only if you give it to us (we won't spam you, we barely have time to send emails)
- Payment info: Handled by our payment processor (we don't see your card details, we're not that interested)
How We Use Your Data
We use your data for the most basic reasons:
- To process your orders (when you actually buy something)
- To send you order confirmations (if you care about that)
- To improve our website (we're barely trying)
- To comply with laws (because we have to)
Data Sharing
We don't sell your data because:
- We barely have any data to sell
- We're too lazy to set up data selling
- We don't care enough about money to do that
- It's probably illegal anyway
We only share data with:
- Our payment processor (because we need to get paid)
- Our shipping partner (because we need to send you stuff)
- Law enforcement (if they ask nicely)
Cookies
We use cookies to:
- Remember what's in your cart (so you don't lose your overpriced items)
- Remember that you accepted our cookie policy (so we don't have to ask again)
- Track basic website usage (we're barely tracking anything)
You can disable cookies, but then our website might not work properly. We're not responsible for that.
Your Rights
You have the right to:
- Ask us what data we have about you (we probably don't have much)
- Ask us to delete your data (we'll probably forget about you anyway)
- Ask us to stop processing your data (we'll try to remember)
- Complain to authorities (we're not sure why you'd bother)
Data Security
We protect your data as much as we care about it (which is barely at all, but we try):
- We use HTTPS (because it's 2025 and we're not savages)
- We don't store sensitive data (because we don't want the responsibility)
- We use secure payment processors (because we have to)
- We update our security when we remember to
Changes to This Policy
We might update this policy if we remember to or if the law makes us. We'll post changes here and maybe send you an email if we feel like it.